Abbott and Costello's Computer Conversation

 
Got this in the mail today.  What can I say.
 
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this:
 
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
 
ABBOTT:  Super Duper computer store.  Can I help you?
 
COSTELLO:  Thanks.  I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
 
ABBOTT:  Mac?
 
COSTELLO:  No, the name's Lou.
 
ABBOTT:  Your computer?
 
COSTELLO:  I don't own a computer.  I want to buy one.
 
ABBOTT:  Mac?
 
COSTELLO:  I told you, my name's Lou.
 
ABBOTT:  What about Windows?
 
COSTELLO:  Why?  Will it get stuffy in here?
 
ABBOTT:  Do you want a computer with Windows?
 
COSTELLO:  I don't know.  What will I see when I look at the windows?
 
ABBOTT:  Wallpaper.
 
COSTELLO:  Never mind the windows.  I need a computer and software.
 
ABBOTT:  Software for Windows?
 
COSTELLO:  No.  On the computer!  I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
 
ABBOTT:  Office.
 
COSTELLO:  Yeah, for my office.  Can you recommend anything?
 
ABBOTT:  I just did.
 
COSTELLO:  You just did what?
 
ABBOTT:  Recommend something.
 
COSTELLO:  You recommended something?
 
ABBOTT:  Yes.
 
COSTELLO:  For my office?
 
ABBOTT:  Yes.
 
COSTELLO:  OK, what did you recommend for my office
ABBOTT:  Office.
 
COSTELLO:  Yes, for my office!
 
ABBOTT:  I recommend Office with Windows.
 
COSTELLO:  I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
 
ABBOTT:  Word.
 
COSTELLO:  What word?
 
ABBOTT:  Word in Office.
 
COSTELLO:  The only word in office is office.
 
ABBOTT:  The Word in Office for Windows.
 
COSTELLO:  Which word in office for windows?
 
ABBOTT:  The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
 
COSTELLO:  I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers, OK, forget that.  Can I watch movies on the Internet?
 
ABBOTT:  Yes, you want Real One.
 
COSTELLO:  Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon.  What I watch is none of your business.  Just tell me what I need!
 
ABBOTT:  Real One.
 
COSTELLO:  If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?
 
ABBOTT:  Of course.
 
COSTELLO:  Great!  With what?
 
ABBOTT:  Real One.
 
COSTELLO:  OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie.  What do I do?
 
ABBOTT:  You click the blue "1".
 
COSTELLO:  I click the blue one what?
 
ABBOTT:  The blue "1".
 
COSTELLO:  Is that different from the blue "w"?
 
ABBOTT:  The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
 
COSTELLO:  What word?
 
ABBOTT:  The Word in Office for Windows.
 
COSTELLO:  But there are three words in "office for windows"!
 
ABBOTT:  No, just one.  But it's the most popular Word in the world.
 
COSTELLO:  It is?
 
ABBOTT:  Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
 
COSTELLO:  And that word is real one?
 
ABBOTT:  Real One has nothing to do with Word.  Real One isn't even part of Office.
 
COSTELLO:  STOP!  Don't start that again.  What about financial bookkeeping?  You have anything I can track my money with?
 
ABBOTT:  Money.
 
COSTELLO:  That's right.  What do you have?
 
ABBOTT:  Money.
 
COSTELLO:  I need money to track my money?
 
ABBOTT:  It comes bundled with your computer.
 
COSTELLO:  What's bundled with my computer?
 
ABBOTT:  Money.
 
COSTELLO:  Money comes with my computer?
 
ABBOTT:  Yes.  No extra charge.
 
COSTELLO:  I get a bundle of money with my computer?  How much?

ABBOTT:  One copy.
 
COSTELLO:  Isn't it illegal to copy money?
 
ABBOTT:  Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
 
COSTELLO:  They can give you a license to copy money?
 
ABBOTT:  Why not?  THEY OWN IT!
 
A few days later:  
 
ABBOTT:  Super Duper computer store.  May I help you?
 
COSTELLO:  How do I turn my computer off?
 
ABBOTT:  Click on "START"...