Move Over Murphy

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee .

Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner .

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act .

Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers .

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire .

Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time) .

Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings .

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with .

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will .

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach .

Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last .

The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold .

Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers .

Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug .

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about .

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly .

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it .

Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better . Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick .